ACT 1, Scene 1
(Single spotlight, front stage left on AIDEN she’s laying on the ground. She stirs. Slowly she sits up, looks around. She’s confused.)
AIDEN
Well, that’s weird. (She looks around.) I don’t remember how I got here. Where is here exactly?
(She stands and walks around the stage, spotlight follows her. She makes her way to center stage and stops. Beat. Slowly, she walks towards the front of the stage. When she reaches the front of the stage she runs into an invisible wall. She backs up. Beat. A light shines from back stage right. HEIDI and CARTER enter walking slowly along the back of the stage. CARTER is wearing a letterman’s jacket and HEIDI is in a tweed skirt and a button up blouse. A spotlight follows them. AIDEN doesn’t notice them.)
HEIDI
I honestly can’t believe she said that.
(AIDEN is startled. She notices HEIDI and CARTER and rushes towards them. They don’t notice her.)
AIDEN
Heidi? Carter? I’m so glad you two are here! I was so lost. What’s going on here? Who are you talking about?
HEIDI
She is so freaking unbearable, I do not know how Jake (AIDEN is shocked) can stand being her boyfriend that.
AIDEN
(talks over HEIDI)
Excuse me, Why are you talking about Jake? Is he ok?
HEIDI
I would’ve seriously like ripped my ears…
AIDEN
Hello? Can you please help me?
HEIDI
… off if I was him.
CARTER
I know what you mean baby, her voice is so annoying. I can’t even stand being in the room with her for too long, come on let’s get some lunch.
AIDEN
Wait come back, please. Who’s voice? What are you guys talking about? Why are you ignoring me? What did I do to deserve the silent treatment?
(She follows them as they exit off stage left. Beat. AIDEN enters and sits stage front right.)
AIDEN
Well that was (pause) odd. They just (pause) faded off. I must be dreaming. Yeah, that’s it I’m dreaming, alright Aiden wake up. One, two, three wake up. Right now. Ok now.
(AIDEN looks around, pinches herself. Disappointed, stands up. Beat. A light shines from back stage left. JOHN and KAYT enter holding hands, JOHN pantomimes walking a dog. Spotlight follows them as they cross to front center stage and stop. AIDEN looks up at them, stands and watches them.)
JOHN
Skippy, sit. Good dog. (Crouches down, petting the invisible dog.)
KAYT
Honey? (JOHN ignores her) John, babe?
(JOHN Stands and looks at her. AIDEN is confused, she looks at where the dog should be and then at JOHN and KAYT. She makes her way towards them, slowly.)
KAYT
Are you sure we’re going the right way? I thought the dog park was two blocks south of Main Street.
JOHN
We are two blocks North of Main Street, I’m sure of it. The park should be right over there. (pointing out into the audience.) I hope no one is allergic to Skippy (looks down, talking to invisible dog with a babying voice) Huh, boy? That’d be just awful wouldn’t it?
KAYT
Ok I’ll trust you. But next time I’m driving, this walk is turning out to more of a hike. C’mon let’s hurry we’re going to be late. They all are waiting for us. Did I tell you that Jake’s bringing a new girl? I can’t wait to see how she compares to that wicked little back-stabber. I don’t know what he was thinking when he started dating her. O well, at least he’s done away with her. Come on Skippy. (Motioning to the invisible dog.)
AIDEN
Jake? (pause) New girl? Wait…
(JOHN and KAYT begin walking towards the front of the stage. They pass AIDEN. They don’t notice her.)
AIDEN
Excuse me? At least tell me, do you know where we are? I’m lost and I’m getting kind of worried, if you could please just help me that would be great and I promise that I won’t let your little lie ruin your social standing.
(JOHN and KAYT continue of the front of the stage. AIDEN tries to follow but hits the invisible wall hard and falls to the ground. The spotlight turns off on JOHN and KAYT as they disappear into the audience. Beat. AIDEN sits up rubbing her head.)
AIDEN
This is all very strange. Why I couldn’t see the dog? There was a dog I’m sure of it. How’d they get past that, that, wall? Am I going crazy? No, they were crazy! Why is everyone talking about Jake? Why are they blowing me off? Don’t they recognize who I am? I’m this year’s Homecoming Queen, student body president, captain of the varsity volleyball team. Who do they think they are? What’s gotten into everybody? I’m so confused. I just want to go home! There’s got to be a way out here.
(AIDEN stands and begins wandering around the stage as if looking for an exit. After a moment she goes to the front stage right and starts feeling her way along the invisible wall. When she reaches center stage MARK runs on stage from back stage right, pantomiming catching a Frisbee. Pantomimes throwing it towards where he entered, JACKSON runs on stage catching it.)
MARK
Nice catch, man. So have you asked her yet?
JACKSON
No way, I can’t even get close to her without breaking a sweat. I don’t know man maybe I just shouldn’t. After all Jake did just break up with her. (Throws invisible Frisbee, MARK catches it.)
AIDEN
Jake? (pause) Jake broke up with me? What? (pause) What’s going on? We didn’t break up!
(AIDEN stands and walks towards them, shocked.)
AIDEN
Umm, excuse me? Jackson, what are you talking about?
(MIKE and JACKSON continue throwing the invisible Frisbee to each other from different points around the stage.)
MARK
Dude you’re such an idiot. This is your last homecoming, man. Why not go with the women of your dreams? Besides she’ll be looking for a rebound guy and you know what that means. (Smiles and laughs slightly to himself) Come on the guys are probably waiting for us.
(MARK and JACKSON start off stage left.)
AIDEN
Please, wait. I’m lost, can you help me please? Please. (She rushes after them.)
(They ignore her and exit. AIDEN sits, front stage left.)
AIDEN
Jake? How could you?
(AIDEN covers her face and starts crying.)
(Beat)
(Blackout.)
ACT 1, Scene 2
(Two spotlights. One is front stage left on AIDEN she’s laying on the ground. The second spotlight is on JAKE, he’s laying on the ground front stage right. AIDEN stirs. Slowly she sits up, looks around. She’s confused.)
AIDEN
Well, that’s weird. (She looks around.) I don’t remember how I got here. Where is here exactly?
JAKE
Aiden? (Sits up looks around. He notices AIDEN and stands. He tries running to her but hits an invisible wall, center stage. He feels his way along it while watching AIDEN)
(ADIEN stands and walks around the stage, spotlight follows her. She doesn’t notice JAKE. She makes her way to center stage and stops. Beat. Slowly, she walks towards the front of the stage. When she reaches the front of the stage she runs into an invisible wall. She backs up. Beat. A light shines from back stage right. HEIDI and CARTER enter walking slowly along the back of the stage. JAKE can’t see them. CARTER is wearing a letterman’s jacket and HEIDI is in a tweed skirt and a button up blouse. Lights are dim, but spotlights are still on JAKE and AIDEN. AIDEN doesn’t notice them.)
HEIDI
I honestly can’t believe she said that.
(AIDEN is startled. She notices HEIDI and CARTER and rushes towards them. They don’t notice her.)
AIDEN
Heidi? Carter? I’m so glad you two are here! I was so lost. What’s going on here? Who are you talking about?
JAKE
Aiden, baby who are you talking to? There’s no one here but us.
HEIDI
She is so freaking unbearable, I do not know how Jake (AIDEN is shocked) can stand being her boyfriend that.
AIDEN
(talks over HEIDI)
Excuse me, Why are you talking about Jake? Is he ok?
JAKE
Aiden, who’s talking about me? Nothing has happened to me. I’m right here baby.
HEIDI
I would’ve seriously like ripped my ears…
AIDEN
Hello? Can you please help me?
JAKE
What? Aiden come here, I’ll help you.
HEIDI
… off if I was him.
CARTER
I know what you mean baby, her voice is so annoying. I can’t even stand being in the room with her for too long, come on let’s get some lunch.
AIDEN
Wait come back, please. Who’s voice? What are you guys talking about? Why are you ignoring me? What did I do to deserve the silent treatment?
JAKE
Silent treatment? Honestly, if anything you’re the one giving… wait! Where are you going? (Stands against the invisible wall)
(She follows them as they exit off stage left. Beat. AIDEN enters and sits stage front right. JAKE comes over and places his arms around her, she doesn’t notice.)
AIDEN
Well that was…
JAKE
What was what?
AIDEN
… odd. They just (pause) faded off. I must be dreaming. Yeah, that’s it I’m dreaming, alright Aiden wake up. One, two, three wake up. Right now. Ok now.
JAKE
Baby, you’re not sleeping. You’re here with me. Please talk to me.
(AIDEN looks around, pinches herself. Disappointed, stands up, JAKE stands with her, confused. Beat. A light shines from back stage left. JOHN and KAYT enter holding hands, JOHN pantomimes walking a dog. Spotlight follows them as they cross to front center stage and stop. AIDEN looks up at them, stands and watches them. JAKE notices that AIDEN is looking at something.)
JAKE
What is it? What are you looking at? Is there something there?
JOHN
Skippy, sit. Good dog. (Crouches down, petting the invisible dog.)
KAYT
Honey? (JOHN ignores her) John, babe?
(JOHN Stands and looks at her. AIDEN is confused, she looks at where the dog should be and then at JOHN and KAYT. She makes her way towards them, slowly. JAKE follows them.)
JAKE
What are you looking at?
KAYT
Are you sure we’re going the right way? I thought the dog park was two blocks south of Main Street.
JOHN
We are two blocks North of Main Street, I’m sure of it. The park should be right over there. (pointing out into the audience.) I hope no one is allergic to Skippy (looks down, talking to invisible dog with a babying voice) Huh, boy? That’d be just awful wouldn’t it?
KAYT
Ok I’ll trust you. But next time I’m driving, this walk is turning out to more of a hike. C’mon let’s hurry we’re going to be late. They all are waiting for us. Did I tell you that Jake’s bringing a new girl? I can’t wait to see how she compares to that wicked little back-stabber. I don’t know what he was thinking when he started dating her. O well, at least he’s done away with her. Come on Skippy. (Motioning to the invisible dog.)
AIDEN
Jake?
JAKE
Yes?
AIDEN
New girl? Wait…
JAKE
O no, you found out about that? Look I can…
(JOHN and KAYT begin walking towards the front of the stage. They pass AIDEN and JAKE. They don’t notice either of them.)
AIDEN
Excuse me? At least tell me, do you know where we are? I’m lost and I’m getting kind of worried, if you could please just help me that would be great and I promise that I won’t let your little lie ruin your social standing.
JAKE
Look, Aid, baby. I was going to tell you about that you see…
(JOHN and KAYT continue of the front of the stage. AIDEN tries to follow but hits the invisible wall hard and falls to the ground. The spotlight turns off on JOHN and KAYT as they disappear into the audience. Beat. AIDEN sits up rubbing her head. JAKE kneels down and kisses her forehead, she doesn’t notice.)
JAKE
Are you alright? (JAKE feels the invisible wall on the front of the stage.) It seems like you’re in a box too (laughs).
AIDEN
This is all very strange. Why I couldn’t see the dog? There was a dog I’m sure of it. How’d they get past that, that, wall? Am I going crazy? No, they were crazy! Why is everyone talking about Jake? Why are they blowing me off? Don’t they recognize who I am? I’m this year’s Homecoming Queen, student body president, captain of the varsity volleyball team. Who do they think they are? What’s gotten into everybody? I’m so confused. I just want to go home! There’s got to be a way out here.
(AIDEN stands and begins wandering around the stage as if looking for an exit. JAKE stands and watches ADIEN.)
JAKE
Of course I know that baby. Look at me please. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the other girl. It was last week after the fight we had. I took her to the park with John, Kayt, and some of our other friends. But nothing…
(AIDEN goes to the front stage right and starts feeling her way along the invisible wall. When she reaches center stage MARK runs on stage from back stage right, pantomiming catching a Frisbee. Pantomimes throwing it towards where he entered, JACKSON runs on stage catching it.)
MARK
Nice catch, man. So have you asked her yet?
JACKSON
No way, I can’t even get close to her without breaking a sweat. I don’t know man maybe I just shouldn’t. After all Jake did just break up with her. (Throws invisible Frisbee, MARK catches it.)
AIDEN
Jake?
JAKE
Yea? I’m right here.
AIDEN
Jake broke up with me? What?
JAKE
How’d you hear about that?
AIDEN
What’s going on? We didn’t break up!
(AIDEN stands and walks towards them, shocked. JAKE tries to follow but is stopped by the wall. He follows along the wall towards the back of the stage.)
AIDEN
Umm, excuse me? Jackson, what are you talking about?
(MIKE and JACKSON continue throwing the invisible Frisbee to each other from different points around the stage.)
JAKE
Jackson? He’s not here, baby. He told you? Aiden this isn’t the way I wanted it to be…
MARK
Dude you’re such an idiot. This is your last homecoming, man. Why not go with the women of your dreams? Besides she’ll be looking for a rebound guy and you know what that means. (Smiles and laughs slightly to himself) Come on the guys are probably waiting for us.
(MARK and JACKSON start off stage left.)
AIDEN
Please, wait. I’m lost, can you help me please? Please. (She rushes after them.)
(They ignore her and exit. AIDEN sits, front stage left. JAKE stands front stage right, trying to get through the wall, he fails.)
AIDEN
Jake? How could you?
(AIDEN covers her face and starts crying.)
JAKE
Aiden, I’m sorry. I wish I could take this all back. I’m sorry. (pause) Where am I?
(Blackout.)
ACT 1, Scene 3
(Lights up. JAKE and AIDEN are still in their last spots frozen. The stage is filled with more people, frozen in different positions. Their faces show sorrow. NARRATOR enters stage right, walking around the people, smirking them. Talks like an infomercial.)
NARRATOR
Welcome my friends to the Land of the Lost. Do you have someone you can’t stand, loathe, or maybe even envy? Then the Land of the Lost is the place for you. This is a place where you can send those, unfortunate souls, (Smile). Each will be locked up in his or her own individual cell, forced to spend the rest of his or her dreary, self-centered existence watching the echoes of those they used to associate with, but without contact. (laugh) All you need to do is call, 1-800-941-1193, and a consultant with help you decide what type of cell and memories you’d like your (pause) little friend to (pause) enjoy. That number again is 1-800-941-1193. We’ll be looking forward to your call.
(Blackout)
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